I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am on the autistic spectrum. For years I had suspect it, but the first time it got brought up there was a lot of hostility and shame directed at me for it so I have been reluctant to really talk about it again. But I’ve continued reading up about it, watching videos of other autistic people describe their life experience and every time I’m just like “yeah, that’s me.” So I haven’t had an official diagnosis, a couple of people have said it’s very expensive, when I get back to going to therapy it will be something I bring up.
On a somewhat related note, I’ve also accepted that I will never be a Dominant figure. Aside from the inability to really understand social cues (see above paragraph) I am too timid and too anxious to take command. I’m probably best to be left alone with my synthesizers.